mudcub

Yay! Delaware's governor signed a civil union bills last week. Three cheers for Delaware! Hip, hip...

...wait a minute. Fuck Delaware. The whole thing can suck my balls.

I'm tired. I'm tired of the water torture of endless drips of equality. One minute, gay marriage is legal in Maine. Then it's outlawed. California gets marriage equality. Then prop 8 takes it away. It's exhausting to follow all these individual states.

Want to feel old? The original Massachusetts gay marriage ruling is NINE years old as of May 7, 2002, and we are still waiting for a ruling from the Supreme court. In contrast, the time between Brown v. Board of Education and Kennedy's historical Civil Rights Act was only ten years.

Add up all the legal costs - the millions of dollars donated by the gay community to fight for each of these state battles. It's like a "gay tax". The only ones winning in this battles are the lawyers earning fees and the advertising agencies selling commercials.

It is time - no, it's BEYOND time - for federal action for gay equal rights. This is not a "state's rights" issue any more than black civil rights was. We shouldn't have to wait until every state goes through a long and expensive process to argue against our existence.

I saw the rock group Low at the Bowery Ballroom on Wednesday night. Thor didn't want to go... he said he caught them a few years and and they were boring. Low specializes is really quiet "shoegazer" music.

However, in the last few years, they seem to be struggling intentionally against that label. They expanded from a trio to a quartet with bass, guitar, drums, and keyboard, and many songs on the their new CD "C'mon" are actually quite raucous. But the crowd seemed to like the dramatic plodding songs the most, where one phrase was repeated over and over again like a mantra:

Oh majesty, oh magic,
Oh majesty, oh magic,
Oh majesty, oh magic,
Oh majesty, oh magic.

or

I'm nothing but heart
I'm nothing but heart
I'm nothing but heart (repeat 20x)

Was Ghandi Gay? Please read this article:

http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2011/03/dissent-of-the-day.html

and then let me know what you think! Straight people must get tired of the question. Was Lincoln gay? Was James Buchanan gay?

If you think of homosexuality as ONLY about the sexual act, then the correct answer is = we will never know. We don't know if Ghandi ever had gay sex because we weren't there. Photo or it didn't happen. However, as a gay man, I sometimes look at historical figures and think, "Oh yeah... I can really relate to that behavior... when I was closeted, I did those exact same things."

For example, read this section from a new book about Ghandi:

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The love of his life was a German-Jewish architect and bodybuilder, Hermann Kallenbach, for whom Gandhi left his wife in 1908. "Your portrait (the only one) stands on my mantelpiece in my bedroom," he wrote to Kallenbach. "The mantelpiece is opposite to the bed." The two pledged "more love, and yet more love . . . such love as they hope the world has not yet seen."

But when Ghandi thought about male-female relations, he wrote this:

"I cannot imagine a thing as ugly as the intercourse of men and women."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

If you are a straight man reading this post... can you read the above and see yourself reflected in those quotes? That straight sex was "ugly", but with a male friend you could make love as "the world has not yet seen"?

I think Ghandi might have been asexual. Bisexual maybe. Gay probably. But definitely not straight.

I feel like a self-centered dick when I post on LiveJournal that I'm having dark thoughts. So, I'd like to post the opposite - I'm doing really well lately. I haven't been depressed since that week in January. I haven't heard any suicidal voices in my head, my new job is fun, and I am very much in love. Sure, I could use some more money and I'm heavier than I've ever been. but I'm actually having fun paying off bills and jogging every day, and I feel that I have a good sustainable plan.

I hope everyone else out there is doing well, too. Here are some photos of statues around my work building: the Rockefeller Plaza statue I've always loved, and a bunny on top of an elephant.





The bunny/elephant was done by the artist Barry Flanagan. You should check out his work!

Now I know why some of my LiveJournal friends take photos of themselves at the doctor's office with tubes up their nose. I think it's because they hook you up to these machines, and then leave the room, leaving you alone with your cell phone and nothing else to do. As a youth, I would take that "alone time" to plunder the office for medical supplies that I would use for kinky fun back in my college dorm room later.

I'm having a few medical issues, but hopefully nothing to worry about. This was an EKG test for an enlarged heart, which is ok. I need to exercise more and lose weight - at 235 pounds, I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my life. I'm more worried about my upcoming colonoscopy. I've never had one of those before. I'm worried I will like it too much!

My first day on the job. I took the six month contract without benefits. I know, I know, maybe not the smartest financial move I've ever done, but I think this will lead to better work in the future. Plus it's a really fun job doing math stuff. I really love numbers.

I work downtown Manhattan, just south of Central Park, so there are a lot of fun things to do during my lunch hour: Times Square, Jim Hanley's Universe comic book shop, The Compleat Strategist boardgame shop, great restaurants, and more! Now I just have to make a lot of money so I can afford the nice stuff...

Today I scored a ticket to WNYC radio's Live in the Greene Space. I got to see Thomas Dolby play a set of some new songs he will be releasing this summer. I love Dolby (his Golden Age of Wireless is my favorite CD of all time). Unfortunately, I had to sit through a bad reggae band first. But it was an "only in New York moment"... just a day before I walked by the studio and wondered what kind of music they played in the storefront. The next day, I was there!

Lots of news on gay marriage lately... so much that you may not have been able to keep up. Here are some of the more exciting news items from the US and abroad:

Washington
On Valentine's Day, legislators introduced a bill in the house and senate to legalize gay marriage. However, this seems merely a gesture, as it's not expected to pass.
http://blog.senatedemocrats.wa.gov/ed-murray-news/a-legislative-valentine-to-gay-and-lesbian-families/

Colorado
Gay civil union bill introduced, although it probably won't go anywhere.
http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2011/02/colorado-civil-unions-bill-introduced.html

Arizona
Attorneys for the state filed to eliminate benefits for the 800 state employess who asked for coverage for their gay partners and children. Benefits will remain in place until the federal court reviews the case years from now... I'm not sure why this is a federal issue.
http://azstarnet.com/news/local/govt-and-politics/article_75cc370a-3464-5388-97df-b83fc5359c43.html?mode=story

Maryland
Has support lined up for gay marriage bill, so that might happen this year.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2011/02/14/AR2011021406442.html

New Jersey
A gay marriage bill died in January, with no plans to revisit the issue in 2011.
http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2010/01/nj_senate_rejects_bill_legaliz.html

Rhode Island
Last week's contentious debate will probably not bring full gay marriage to the tiny state, but it's great there is momentum.
http://www.projo.com/news/content/same-sex_marriage_hearing_02-10-11_B5MD4HC_v36.1a1c347.html

New Hampshire
A hearing Thursday to decide if the legislature should go ahead with plans to repeal their gay marriage law. No decision yet on what would happen to the gay couples already married in that state.
http://www.concordmonitor.com/article/240341/voters-dont-want-gay-marriage-repealed

Illinois
Got civil unions in January
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/31/illinois-civil-unions-gov_n_816685.html

Hawaii
House and senate approved civil unions. Plus the new Democratic gov said he'd sign it, in contrast to the Repub gov who vetoed it last year. So, this seems like a lock.
http://www.staradvertiser.com/news/breaking/115987444.html

Great Britain
May convert gay civil unions to full marriage by the end of the week.
http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2011/02/13/british-government-reportedly-set-to-introduce-full-gay-marriage/

When I lived in San Jose, my best friend lived a block away from a store that specialized in Australian gifts. But for some reason, he and I never went in. Then, last Christmas, I wanted to send him a box of Tim Tams, so he could learn how to do a Tim Tam Slam.

Imagine my surprise when the top google reponse was that store we overlooked called "Australian Products, Co." So, I bought my friend an oilskin jacket, that box of Tim Tams, and a ton of other Australian food besides. I couldn't resist sending some to myself as well:

Fruit Tingles
Cadbury "Picnic" bar
Cherry Mash
Tim Tams (both original *and* double coated!)
Violet Crumble
Arnott's "Shapes" biscuits
and Vegemite (I haven't had the courage to try this one yet!)



Until the day I get to visit Australia myself, this box of goodies will have to do!

The best song for 2010? Steven Page's "A New Shore". Or specifically, it's my favorite moment in a song.

You know what I'm talking about... "the moment". That split-second noise that comes out of nowhere and shoots into your soul. The high screeching guitar skronk in Tool's "Sober". The accidental guitar rhythm in Radiohead's "Creep". Kurt Cobain snarling with a bent guitar note in "Smells Like Teen Spirit".

In this case it's the coda of the song which start at 2:48. Steven sings two words over and over again. "Land". "Ho". First as a solo in the center channel. Then his singing moves to the right speaker as he's doing a duet with himself with the left channel. Pretty cool, right? But wait.

The melody bounces back and forth between the two sides, and Steven is hitting the high A on a regular basis. Most songs would end here, but now a THIRD voice comes in. Tentative at first. But then for the last refrain, the trio hits a high note. Not the high A... that had already been sung before. No. The last note of the song is a D above high D. Sung operatic, slightly straining. I mean, there's castanets and strings, but that's not what you are listening to. It's the singer... cynical about his past, and weary about his future, but seeing terra firma once again. And it just kills me.